What is Emotion-Focused Therapy? An Introduction
Emotion-focused therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic approach that helps individuals better understand, experience, and manage their emotions to improve their overall mental well-being.

Don’t confuse this with the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), a model that focuses almost exclusively on meridian tapping points rather than what is traditionally understood as therapy.
EFT is based on the idea that emotions play a crucial role in our lives, shaping how we interact with others, cope with challenges, and pursue our goals.
By addressing the emotional roots of personal issues, EFT allows you to foster healthier relationships, overcome negative patterns, and find greater fulfillment in your life.
Developed by Dr. Leslie Greenberg and his colleagues, EFT combines elements of various therapeutic approaches, such as humanistic, psychodynamic, and cognitive-behavioral therapies.
The main objective of EFT is to help you become more aware of your emotional experiences, learn how to express and process them effectively, and ultimately, transform them in a positive and constructive way.
Key Takeaways
- Emotion-focused therapy aims to enhance your emotional awareness, expression, and transformation to improve mental well-being.
- EFT is based on the idea that emotions play a vital role in shaping our lives and interpersonal relationships.
- The approach combines elements from various therapeutic disciplines to create a comprehensive and effective method for addressing emotional issues.

Stirring Up the Emotional Soup
The emotional soup, a delightful mix of feelings and emotions you’re stirring in the pot of life. You are the proud chef of creating this concoction.
As a brief introduction to emotion-focused therapy, let’s take a look at some of the main ingredients that make up your emotional soup.
In the pot, you’ll find emotions like fear, anger, shame, and sadness.
You’ll also come across feelings – those delightful tastes that tickle your senses.
Primary emotions like depression add depth, while others, like shame, season the mixture with a little extra zing.
As you’re whipping up your emotional soup, don’t forget to add a dash of humor.

Nothing like a chuckle or two to keep things from getting too heavy, right? A little laughter amid the stew of emotions certainly goes a long way in helping you understand them better. In regards to addiction recovery, nothing may be more critical than being able to curl over in laughter at the absurdity.
This by no means negates the serious nature of the situation but rather provides the wherewithal to restoration of health, family, and community.
Now, emotion-focused therapy aims to help you, the master chef, identify and understand these various ingredients in your emotional soup.
By recognizing the emotions and feelings that pervade your life, you can gain insight into how they affect your well-being.
And while we’re not aiming for any grand conclusions here, remember, emotion-focused therapy is all about understanding you – your emotions, your reactions, and ultimately, your recipe for a delicious life. So, go ahead and stir up that emotional soup, ready to take a good look at each ingredient and savor the rich flavors they bring.
Beneath the Sheets of Couples Therapy
For some, it’s as enticing as a root canal, but fear not—you’re about to uncover the marvel of emotionally focused therapy for couples. So sit back, relax, and let’s dive beneath the sheets of emotion-focused couples therapy to better understand the cryptic world of distressed duos.
Once upon a time, in the land of couple relationships, people sought help to mend their fractured love stories.
Two brave souls would walk into a therapist’s office, fueled by hope and desperation, willing to spill their deepest emotions. Enter the wonderful world of emotionally focused therapy for couples.
In this therapy, instead of dissecting every little issue, such as who forgot to replace the toilet paper roll (it’s okay, we’ve all been guilty), the focus is on emotions.
Yes, those aforementioned pesky, confusing, heart-pounding feelings plague couples from every nook and cranny of the globe (understanding the ingredients of your own emotional soup should probably be primary to analyzing your partners!)
You’re likely thinking, “But why emotions? Isn’t communication the key to a healthy relationship?”
Well, you’re right —but emotions are the foundation of communication.

Imagine them as the spicy salsa to your relationship’s nacho platter.
In emotion-focused couples therapy, therapists help those in distressed couples uncover buried vulnerabilities and fears.
They work like treasure hunters, digging deep to find the proverbial golden nuggets of emotion hidden beneath the surface. Once found, these precious commodities can be used to rebuild and nourish connection and communication.
Remember, love is a rollercoaster—sometimes exhilarating, sometimes nauseating.
Emotion-focused therapy for couples acts as a seat belt, keeping your relationship safe and secure amidst the twists and turns of life.
Illuminating the Elusive Emotion Awareness
Picture this: you’re trying to solve the Rubik’s Cube of your emotions, but can’t quite get all the colors to match.
Emotion-focused therapy (EFT) is here to be your personal “Emotional Rubik’s Cube Master,” guiding you through the twists and turns of your own emotion schemes.
Imagine you’re in a maze filled with feelings that keep popping up like Whac-A-Mole. You are about to become a pro at whacking those moles (figuratively, of course) with the help of EFT. Instead of blindly swinging your mallet, EFT helps you identify and understand these pesky emotions.
Now, picture yourself in a pitch-dark room, feeling your way through the clutter of old bags of emotional experiences. EFT acts like a flashlight that helps you navigate through the room, illuminating hidden corners and those seemingly impossible-to-find emotional ‘easter eggs’.

Alright, enough analogies. Let’s examine some emotions!
1. Joy: According to EFT, joy is a positive response that can empower individuals, increase their sense of well-being, and promote their resilience in dealing with life’s inevitable difficulties. It’s like an internal light bulb illuminating a world filled with opportunities (Greenberg, 2008).
2. Sadness: It’s broadly understood as a reaction to loss or disappointment. In EFT, sadness can play a significant role as a therapeutic guide, leading the therapist and individual to unresolved issues and areas where healing is needed (Greenberg & Watson, 2006).
3. Anger: This emotion emerges in response to perceived threats or injustices. Although it presents clinical challenges, EFT seeks to harness anger as an energizing force to confront and change problematic environments (Greenberg & Watson, 2006).
4. Fear: Fear’s primary function is to protect us from danger by triggering a flight, fight, or freeze response. Used constructively in EFT, fear can highlight areas that need to be worked on for the development of coping strategies and personal growth (Greenberg & Watson, 2006).
5. Shame: Shame involves a negative evaluation of the self, often evoked by perceived failure or social rejection. EFT considers shame to be a powerful force that can hinder individuals’ progress in therapy and works to help individuals confront and dismantle this complex emotion (Rice et al., 1998).
As you start to explore your newfound emotional awareness, you’ll discover that your emotions are like an intricate puzzle – each piece carrying vital information that makes up the bigger picture.
With EFT by your side, you’re Sherlock Holmes, unraveling the mysteries of your emotional world. It’s like having your personal GPS to navigate the sometimes dizzying and hilarious world of emotions!
In EFT, you’ll learn to challenge the status quo. EFT arms you with the right tools to dismantle those dusty, worn-out emotion schemes and create new, vibrant connections. So, prepare yourself to play Jenga with your feelings and rebuild a more solid emotional foundation.
Peeling Back Layers of Attachment Theory
Oh, you thought love was simple? Well, attachment theory begs to differ! Peel away the many layers of the onion that is human emotion, and you’ll find yourself tangled up in the world of attachment bonds. In fact, you’ll discover just how your love life (and vulnerabilities!) relate to this fascinating theory.
You see, attachment theory is like a recipe for love. It’s what makes you cling to your significant other like a koala to a eucalyptus tree. It explains why you might sometimes feel like a lovable sloth or an insecure porcupine (those prickly moments!). Let’s not forget the love songs that frequently touch upon the vulnerability we all feel in relationships.
Everyone wants that warm and cozy secure attachment, where you and your partner have each other’s backs, and love flourishes like a blooming flower.
But, alas, not all attachment bonds are created equal.
Sometimes, insecurities can rear their ugly heads, causing the relationship to resemble a rollercoaster ride. You know, those pesky insecure attachment styles that can make you feel like you’re stuck in a sitcom (cue the laugh track!).
As you’ve probably guessed, your own attachment style influences the way you perceive and experience love. Your past relationships, childhood experiences, and even your favorite rom-com might play a part in how attachment bonds manifest in your romantic life.
In the end, attachment theory is like a zesty salsa, blending the flavors of love, vulnerability, and attachment bonds to serve up an enthralling dance of romance. So next time you find yourself wondering why your heart is doing somersaults or why you’re suddenly singing sappy ballads, remember that attachment theory is pulling the strings behind the scenes. And who knows? With a dash of humor and a pinch of self-awareness, you might just refine your perfect love recipe.
What Is Attachment Theory?
Attachment Theory, as proposed by Bowlby, posits that early relationships with caregivers have a profound influence on our psychological development, giving rise to internal working models of self and others, which impact how we form and maintain relationships (Bowlby, 1988).

EFT, as already noted, recognizes the crucial role of emotions in human functioning and seeks to harness them in therapeutic settings (Greenberg et al., 1993).
In EFT’s interpretation of attachment theory, the quality of early attachment relationships influences the way adults experience and express emotions in their relational interactions. For instance, individuals with secure attachments generally have a healthier emotional balance, can self-soothe, and can communicate their feelings more effectively (Greenberg, 2004).
On the other hand, those with insecure attachments (avoidant, anxious, or disorganized) may struggle with overwhelming emotions or suppressing emotions excessively (Greenberg & Watson, 2006). They may find it challenging to effectively communicate emotional needs and tend to develop chronic maladaptive emotion regulation patterns (Greenberg, 2004).
EFT therapists view these maladaptive patterns as “unfinished business” from past relationships that need to be resolved or transformed.
By addressing and rerouting these emotional responses, individuals can alter their attachment styles, forming more fulfilling, secure relationships (Goldman, Watson, & Greenberg, 2006).

What Is An Attachment Style?
It’s a mental model, a set of basic assumptions, or core beliefs, about yourself and others.
Right now we’ll quickly overview the core beliefs that make up the attachment styles…
The first set of core beliefs, or relationship rules, form the self dimension.
It centers around two critical questions:
- Am I worthy of being loved?
- Am I competent to get the love I need?
The second set of beliefs forms the other dimension.
It also centers around two important questions:
- Are others reliable and trustworthy?
- Are others accessible and willing to respond to me when I need them to be?
Based on your responses to each set of questions above, your sense of self is either positive or negative. Likewise, your sense of others is also either positive or negative.
By combining the four possible combinations of self and other dimensions, a four-category grid emerges.
These combined beliefs about yourself and your other dimensions shape your expectations about future relationships.
They act as a pair of glasses that color the way you see others, and they inform you about how to behave in close relationships.
In other words, they determine your attachment style. Various names have been given to the four primary attachment styles.
Clinton and Sibcy refer to them as secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized.

Another common way they are configured is as follows:

Codependency stems from an interplay of insecure attachment styles.
For example, a codependent person may have an ambivalent attachment style, which is a negative view of self and a positive view of others.
Quite naturally, they end up in relationships with individuals who have an avoidant attachment style.
Recall avoidant has a positive self and negative view of others.
Positive and negative solely in terms of being able to meet specific emotional needs
As can be imagined, the ambivalent clings to the avoidant to help them and in turn maintain their love and attention. Consequently, the avoidant dismisses them and attempts to meet their own needs in isolation, only perpetuating the issue.
Therefore, codependency is circular.
It’s the ambivalent chasing the avoidant (or disorganized) and the avoidant running away.
Or, to put it another way, it’s the ambivalent solving the never-ending stream of issues created by the avoidant.
Either way, a healthy relationship consists of two individuals with secure attachment styles.
That is they have a generally positive view of themselves and others to meet their needs.
This can also be referred to as interdependence.
Interdependence doesn’t require you to abandon your family or bail on every friend you have.
Rather, it suggests that “all boats rise with the tide.”
As you change people respond differently to you because truthfully you teach people how to treat you.
Your behavior rightly dictates theirs – it’s inevitable.
Living for yourself doesn’t mean you’ll never sacrifice plans or help someone. It’s not like all altruism is thrown from the ship.
Instead, it means you are empowered with the choice to act differently.
Write this down on a flashcard and stick it in your pocket to remind yourself as many times as you need to throughout the day: You can love without sacrificing your agency and identity
Speaking the Language of Therapy
You might wonder, “Why all the focus on emotions?”
Well, feelings can be fickle, and mastering these tricky little things can greatly improve your overall mental health.
In EFT, you learn to do just that, by identifying, understanding, and reframing your emotional responses.
Fancy techniques like Gestalt and influences from humanistic gurus like Carl Rogers are also used in EFT. All of it combined paints a better picture of those lovely human emotions we often struggle to untangle.
So now, what’s the role of the therapist in all this?
In EFT, the therapeutic relationship is essential. Therapists, like any good listener, help you understand what your emotions are trying to say, acting as translators in the fabulous world of feelings. They’ll help you build a bridge between what you’re feeling and how you express it, resulting in better communication and insight.
Casting Light on the Shadows of Emotion-Focused Approach
In this wondrous land of self-discovery, you’ll encounter the elusive responsive dynamics.
The emotional acrobats that keep your feelings on their toes, these dynamics are no match for your fresh, therapeutic approach. With a dash of empathy and a sprinkle of collaboration, you’ll explore the depths of your emotions like never before.
Now, don’t get too carried away, but your emotions are about to undergo a magnificent transformation. Much like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, you’ll reinterpret old wounds and turn them into stunning, new perspectives.

And, as if by magic, your newly acquired emotion coaching skills will guide you through the tumultuous waters of forgiveness. After all, no one likes to hold a grudge, am I right?
But wait, there’s more! As you traverse the landscape of emotions, you’ll stumble upon new interaction patterns just waiting to be uncovered.
You see, in this fantastical world of emotion-focused therapy, your emotions are like puzzle pieces, and it’s up to you to put them together into something beautiful and coherent.
But how? The process isn’t very elaborate. Instead, it’s just collaborative and intentional.

Here’s a basic outline of how EFT works:
1. Assessment: Through the initial interviews, therapists establish a clinical relationship with the client and seek to identify their emotional patterns, problems, strengths, and weaknesses (Greenberg & Watson, 2006).
2. Awareness and Expression: Therapists help clients become more aware of their emotions and guide them toward expressing these emotions in therapy. The expression of emotions is believed to potentially expose important underlying needs and desires which can act as a guide for therapeutic direction (Elliott et al., 2004).
3. Regulation: If the client struggles with overwhelming or underwhelming emotions, EFT therapists offer strategies to regulate this emotional experience. This can involve skills for increasing or decreasing emotional arousal and tolerating painful emotions (Greenberg, 2004).
4. Reflection: EFT therapists guide clients to reflect on the emotion and draw new perspectives or meanings from it. This process is often called “meaning-making” (Greenberg, 2002).
5. Transformation: Through exploring, understanding, and managing their emotions, clients learn to transform unhelpful emotional states into more productive ones. This transformation is a key part of achieving long-lasting change and is facilitated by the EFT therapist (Greenberg & Watson, 2006).
6. Narrative Construction: A key element of EFT involves creating new narratives or stories about oneself that can integrate various emotional experiences and foster a healthier self-concept (Greenberg, 2002).

Channeling Inner Emotion Streams
So, picture this: You’re the client, sitting in an EFT session with your trusty therapist by your side. What’s the goal? To accept and explore your emotions without feeling like society’s expectation of a picture-perfect human being is crushing you.
No more helplessness, just a newfound sense of security, emotional responsiveness, and overall happiness. Sounds wonderful, right? Well, that’s EFT for you.
Now, in this magical world of EFT, your therapist becomes your co-pilot – or should I say, collaborator? – while you’re in the driver’s seat of your emotional spaceship.
Together, you’ll navigate through your inner emotions (cue dramatic music).
Lucky for you, EFT encourages self-discovery and understanding, leading to healthier behavior and better communication with yourself and others.
Let me break this down for you in a fun little list:
- Individuals (that’s you!) engage in EFT to better understand and accept their emotions.
- EFT helps clients build a sense of security and emotional responsiveness.
- It mitigates feelings of helplessness by empowering you to control your emotions.
- Your therapist is a collaborator on this emotional journey.
Dodging the Bullets of Negative Emotions

Ready to start de-escalating those negative interaction patterns? Good, because EFT aims to restructure and modify those pesky emotional responses, helping you unravel the tangled web of emotions and reactions.
But don’t worry, this isn’t some vague, unattainable goal. EFT provides a clear path to addressing your emotional turmoil and supports you through the process.
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Great, another therapy trying to make me cry.” Well, that’s not entirely wrong! But fear not, shedding a tear or two (or twenty) in pursuit of resolution can be incredibly cathartic.
EFT acknowledges that negative emotions – like that pesky fear of disapproval or those insecurities about never being enough – are deeply rooted, so addressing them might require a tissue or two.
Once you’ve bravely faced those emotional demons, it’s time to rebuild and consolidate your newfound understanding.
Think of it as emotional construction work; you’re creating a stronger foundation, making it easier to dodge those bullets of negativity in the future.
Extending the Olive Branch in Interpersonal Relationships
So, you’re tangled in a web of emotions, and it feels like you’re in an endless maze of family therapy and systemic therapy! Let’s face it – we can all use a little emotional tune-up sometimes.
Here’s a quick rundown of some awesome EFT benefits:
- Family Therapy: EFT can help families bond by focusing on emotional needs.
- Conflict Resolution: EFT assists in transforming negative emotions, leading to effective problem-solving.
- Attachment Bond: Strengthen that emotional superglue and create deeper connections.
- New Solutions: Learning emotional awareness opens up a world of innovative approaches to conflicts.
- Communication: Embrace your inner emotional superhero and improve your communication skills.
Knitting an Emotional Safety Net
EFT is like having a knitting club for your emotions, where your therapist guides your needles to challenge and transform those pesky unwanted feelings.
You might be dealing with anxiety, and your mental knitting project is all about turning that anxious yarn into a blanket of calm and security.
Or perhaps you’re struggling with infidelity and your relationship’s emotional scarf is looking a little frayed. EFT to the rescue, mending trust and promoting emotional growth.
Even neuroscience has gotten in on the EFT knitting party, providing evidence showing the effectiveness of this approach in facilitating emotional change.
Think of your brain as a master knitter, working tirelessly to keep your emotions tightly knit and well-organized. Through EFT, you’ll have the mental patterns and understanding required to keep that beautiful brain of yours crafting even through the most challenging emotional projects.
EFT training is like adding new patterns to your emotional knitting arsenal. It can help in addressing various issues, such as eating disorders, where you’ll learn to weave hunger and body image concerns into a tapestry of self-love and acceptance.
When knitting an emotional safety net, it can get a bit messy. Sometimes the yarn will tangle, or your needles might slip, but don’t worry – EFT is all about practice and patience. With your therapist and your needles in hand, you’ll soon find that each stitch creates a stronger, cozier safety net for your mental and emotional well-being.

The first step in EFT is identifying these emotional patterns, achieved through the exploration of thoughts, memories, bodily sensations, behaviors, and feelings in therapy.
The therapist helps clients pay attention to their emotional responses and unpack complex mixed feelings. They use specific markers in the therapy session, for instance, signs of unresolved feelings or conflict among different parts of the self, to guide interventions (Greenberg, 2002).
Once the emotional patterns have been identified, there are several strategies EFT employs to help clients change them:
1. Increasing Emotional Awareness: Many people aren’t fully aware of their emotions, especially if they’re used to disconnecting from them. EFT therapists help clients better recognize and name their emotional experiences (Elliott et al., 2004).
2. Emotion Regulation: Some struggle with emotional dysregulation, which can look like overwhelming emotions or not experiencing enough emotion. EFT therapists work on techniques with the client that can help soothe or enhance emotions as needed (Greenberg & Watson, 2006).
3. Reflecting on Emotions: This involves helping the client understand their emotions better, questioning what the emotions might be trying to communicate, and helping separate useful parts of an emotion from the parts that cause suffering (Greenberg, 2004).
4. Transforming Emotions: EFT therapists guide clients to evoke and transform maladaptive emotions, often through the use of imagery and dialogue exercises, and facilitate adaptive emotional responses (Greenberg, 2002).
Exploring the Twists and Curves of Therapy Techniques
Now, on to therapy techniques. There’s an assortment of therapeutic tasks designed for different situations.
Reprocessing tasks help you dust off old memories and see them in a new light – like discovering that the monster under your bed was just a pile of laundry all along.
Action tasks, on the other hand, can be like learning salsa dancing for your emotions, guiding you through new steps to achieve positive change in your life.
Don’t worry, this whole process doesn’t have to be as long as the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. Short-term treatment can offer a comprehensive overview of your emotional landscape, like a quick jaunt through Middle Earth.
And because you’re the hero of your own story, these therapy techniques will help you uncover and develop your very own superpower: emotional intelligence!

Frequently Asked Questions
What’s the scoop on the stages of this therapy?
In a nutshell, EFT is all about identifying, exploring, and transforming those pesky emotions. Generally, it kicks off with assessing your emotions and the goals you have for therapy. Next, it’s all about diving deep into those emotions, understanding them, and learning how to manage them. Finally, the last stage revolves around creating a newfound sense of self and making lasting changes in your life. But hey, remember, it’s as unique as you are. Your therapist will likely adjust the approach to fit your needs.
Founder schmounder – who came up with this?
Curious about who dreamed up this gem of a therapy? Give a round of applause to Dr. Leslie Greenberg and Dr. Robert Elliott! These brilliant minds developed EFT in the 1980s, and it has since become a snazzy evidence-based approach for helping people like you conquer emotional challenges.
How does this compare to a little thing called CBT?
While both EFT and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) are goal-oriented and based on empirical evidence, they each have their unique flair. EFT places a bigger emphasis on emotions and the therapeutic relationship, whereas CBT zeroes in on thoughts and cognitive processes. So really, it’s more like apples and oranges, or shall I say, feelings and thoughts?
So, there are types – how many, what are they?
You’ll find that EFT comes in two main flavors: individual EFT and couples EFT (known as EFT for couples, but you get the gist). Individual EFT helps you tackle personal emotional challenges, while couples EFT focuses on strengthening connections and fostering understanding and empathy between partners. It’s like a sweet dance of emotional nurturing for both the individual and the couple.
Where can I find this near me…or do I have to travel?
You won’t have to journey far and wide for EFT. Thanks to modern-day technology, you can usually find qualified therapists who offer EFT through online platforms. You may also want to start by checking with local therapy clinics and ask if they have therapists who specialize in this approach. So, sit back, relax, and let the quest for emotional awareness begin in the comfort of your own home or neighborhood.
Six principles, eh? Name ’em!
The pièce de résistance! The six guiding principles of EFT include: 1) valuing and promoting emotional awareness, 2) viewing emotion as a source of valuable information, 3) fostering emotional expression, 4) embracing emotional transformation, 5) embracing the therapeutic relationship in the healing process, and 6) actively constructing new meanings and narratives from emotions. Now, go forth, bold explorer of emotions and conquer that emotional landscape!
References:
– Greenberg, L. S. (2008). Emotion and cognition in psychotherapy: The transforming power of affect. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie Canadienne, 49(1), 49.
– Greenberg, L. S., & Watson, J. C. (2006). Emotion-focused therapy for depression. American Psychological Association.
– Rice, L. N., & Greenberg, L. S. (1998). Humanistic approaches to psychotherapy. In N. S. Jacobson & A. S. Gurman (Eds.), Clinical handbook of couple therapy. Guilford Press.
– Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. Basic Books.
– Greenberg, L. S., Rice, L. N., & Elliott, R. (1993). Facilitating Emotional Change: The Moment-by-Moment Process. Guilford Press.
– Greenberg, L. S. (2004). Emotion-focused therapy. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 11(1), 3-16.
– Goldman, R. N., Watson, J. C., & Greenberg, L. S. (2006). Case formulation in emotion-focused therapy: Co-creating clinical maps for change. American Psychological Association.
– Greenberg, L. S. (2002). Emotion-focused therapy: Coaching clients to work through feelings. APA.
– – Elliott, R., Watson, J., Goldman, R. N., & Greenberg, L. S. (2004). Learning emotion-focused therapy: The process-experiential approach to change. APA.